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September: Hmmmm!!!
I hope we have the best of you…
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After a month of relationship, Chloe Kardashian and Lamar were engaged.
Many folks called them crazy…they’re still together but some who courted for two years didn’t last two years of marriage. I don’t care about Chloe K or Lamar really, am just trying to make a point.
Two months, eight months, one year…when is the right time to put a ring on it?
According to author and media pundit- Dan Savage, writer of the internationally syndicated sex and love advice column savage love, “three months, eight months, sixteen months is way to soon to be discussing marriage. Sure, you can allow yourself to be swept away by new love…so long as the admission is immediately followed by this statement: But I realise it’s way too soon to even think about it seriously”.
Sure, a lot of us here in Africa will vehemently argue this. For our women, every day, it seems some sort of preparation, training, preach, caution…begins or ends on marriage (from the cradle). How then can one not be ready?
For older women who are desperate to settle down, eight months might seem like a lifetime.
For some others, taking too long could douse the flame of passion. Besides, you think you have found your soulmate therefore, marriage should be a lifetime for descoveries, right?
Well, even those who started off convinced they were with their soulmates have ended up, separated, bitter…divorced. The high occurrences of divorce today, would also make anyone pause.
Some people who have divorced once, have gone into another marriage ‘better, more experienced, sure of this time, convinced the new person was the deal…’ and yet, got divorced-again…and again.
How long then? Interestingly, not much research has been done in this area cos when it comes to human factor, one can never be too damn sure.
However, the most cited example is Processes of Adaptation in Intimate Relationships (PAIR) a project started by Ted Huston who found that happily married couples had been together for about two years before they got married. Unhappy couples fell into two categories: those who were divorced swiftly after marriage; they were married at- or after- three years of courtship. And those who divorced sometime after seven years of marriage and got engaged about nine months in.
Well I must say this, two things are clear to me, speedy engagements are problematic cos fantasy might be the propeller while unduly long engagements might indicate hesitation rather than caution.
Hi everyone and welcome!
My mission today is both simple and tough cos…its just to make you laugh!
Here we go: a collection of comics I have selected for you.
Akpos:
Akpos was being chased for one of his numerous crimes and, the men chased him into the forest. Akpos got into the forest and climbed a tree.
The two men got to the tree where Akpos was and did not know that Akpos was on top of the tree. Angrily, one of the men said, “This boy don escape again o!”.
The other man said, “Dont worry, this boy be mumu. If I call his name like three times, he’d answer…”
Akpos laughed out aloud on the tree and said to the men, “Hahahahaha! If you like, call my name from now till next year, I no go answer you. You think say na Akpos of those days be dis…?”
Hilarious!
Ten Commandments of Marriage:
1) Marriages are made in heaven but then again, so are thunder and lightening.
2) If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
3) Marriage is grand and divorce is at least 100 grand.
4) In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
5) When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
6) Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
7) Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
8) Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook but, the law allows only one wife.
9) Marriage and law are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.
10) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Little Johnny.
Little John comes to school daily with a black eye.
Teacher: What’s wrong?
John: Our house is very small. Me, mom and dad all sleep on the same bed. Every night, dad asks me: Johnny are you sleeping? I say no and he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.
Teacher: Tonight, when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and don’t answer. The following morning, Johnny came with a severe black eye.
Teacher: My goodness! Why again?
John: Dad asked me and I kept dead still. Then dad and mom started moving. Mom was breathing hard, kicking her legs and squealing loudly on the bed. Then dad asked my mom, “Are you coming?”
Mom said, “Yes I am. Are you coming too?”
Dad said, “Yes, I am”.
They usually dont go anywhere without me so I said, “Wait for me! I’m coming too”.
Akpos and Gases:
It was a chemistry class and the teacher asked the students to name the atmospheric gases:
John: Oxygen
Teacher: Good!
Chidi: Nitrogen
Teacher: Wonderful!
Kemi: Hydrogen
Teacher: That’s my boy!
Akpos: Tear gas
Teacher: Akpos, you have one more chance…
Akpos thinks hard and says: Fabregas!
Thank you all so much for reading and…hopefully, laughing along with me. None of the the jokes are mine but, I carefully selected the best I could for you all.
See you moro: When is the right time to put a ring on it?
I wonder…do you? Hear from ‘experts’.
Hi everyone and welcome!
My mission today is both simple and tough cos…its just to make you laugh!
Here we go: a collection of comics I have selected for you.
Akpos:
Akpos was being chased for one of his numerous crimes and, the men chased him into the forest. Akpos got into the forest and climbed a tree.
The two men got to the tree where Akpos was and did not know that Akpos was on top of the tree. Angrily, one of the men said, “This boy don escape again o!”.
The other man said, “Dont worry, this boy be mumu. If I call his name like three times, he’d answer…”
Akpos laughed out aloud on the tree and said to the men, “Hahahahaha! If you like, call my name from now till next year, I no go answer you. You think say na Akpos of those days be dis…?”
Hilarious!
Ten Commandments of Marriage:
1) Marriages are made in heaven but then again, so are thunder and lightening.
2) If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep.
3) Marriage is grand and divorce is at least 100 grand.
4) In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen.
5) When a man opens the car door for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: either the car is new or the wife is.
6) Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; trouble starts when they try to decide which one.
7) Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you said. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.
8) Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical and a good cook but, the law allows only one wife.
9) Marriage and law are purely a matter of chemistry. That is why one treats the other like toxic waste.
10) A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.
Little Johnny.
Little John comes to school daily with a black eye.
Teacher: What’s wrong?
John: Our house is very small. Me, mom and dad all sleep on the same bed. Every night, dad asks me: Johnny are you sleeping? I say no and he slaps my face and gives me a black eye.
Teacher: Tonight, when your dad asks again, keep dead quiet and don’t answer. The following morning, Johnny came with a severe black eye.
Teacher: My goodness! Why again?
John: Dad asked me and I kept dead still. Then dad and mom started moving. Mom was breathing hard, kicking her legs and squealing loudly on the bed. Then dad asked my mom, “Are you coming?”
Mom said, “Yes I am. Are you coming too?”
Dad said, “Yes, I am”.
They usually dont go anywhere without me so I said, “Wait for me! I’m coming too”.
Akpos and Gases:
It was a chemistry class and the teacher asked the students to name the atmospheric gases:
John: Oxygen
Teacher: Good!
Chidi: Nitrogen
Teacher: Wonderful!
Kemi: Hydrogen
Teacher: That’s my boy!
Akpos: Tear gas
Teacher: Akpos, you have one more chance…
Akpos thinks hard and says: Fabregas!
Thank you all so much for reading and…hopefully, laughing along with me. None of the the jokes are mine but, I carefully selected the best I could for you all.
See you moro: When is the right time to put a ring on it?
I wonder…do you? Hear from ‘experts’.
Men and nipples? Ever wondered why they’re there for people who might just have no use/need for them? Or, maybe they there in case men begin to feel very maternal?
Maybe you just never wondered about them- people have. Even books have been written about that.
I found an article on Huffington Post about this, written by Cara Santa Maria and I found it both hillarious and interesting.
In the womb, she writes, we go through different developmental stages: zygote, embryo, fetus. Females have two X chromosones while males have an X and Y. Y makes a man, a man. As an embryo, both the male and the female umm… ‘unisex’ but, at the sixth week, a special part of the Y chromosone called the SRY gene gets activated causing the male embryo to begin developing manly features.
How does this stuff which we already know, help us with the nipple stuff? I’d tell ya: you see, nipples develop at five and a half weeks! Hence…nipples.
Extra bits:
Hope you know some men and women even have more than two nipples? This is known as supernumerary nipples
This is even three times common in men than in women (see chancing o!). Anyway, this happens to occur in only 1 out of 18 men.
They might just be ‘extra manly’, huh?
So, now you know!
adaobiokwy 