It is indeed a painful relapse,
Tell me to swear off sex until am sixty, I got no problems with that…right now. Tell me to eat only fruits for the next ten years…done…for now. Tell me to give up eating stones…we got a problem…
I have come back again to say that i have relapsed and although I am not going around picking stones to chew, I still do something that is familiar…when I lay my hands on stones, it is a battle to get me to stop chewing.
Don’t think I am not trying. I have even agreed to enter a rehab but, where is it in Naija? I only have the advices of “well meaning folks”, most of whom have never been addicted to anything! It is really frustrating. First, I have to give up something which I love by consciously and continuously telling myself that I don’t love it any more (which takes a huge courage). Secondly, I have to pretend the hunger for it isn’t tearing me apart. (This kills a big chunk of me).
Let me tell you about this my new habit of chewing gums everyday. My close pal told me to stick a gum in my mouth each time the craving came on. You know, at the peak of this addiction, I was chewing as much as thirty fine stones in a day. When I became committed to dealing with it, I cut it down to five…big clap guys?! Do the gums work? So long as there’s no stone closeby! And this time, ten stones…or twelve. That’s one doddering step forward and ten backwards…I tell ya, its a painful relapse. Much more painful cos, I see no workable quick elimination process…I promise, I’d take it. Please don’t recommend crap.
I am like a warrior severally beaten down by her own people…I leave ya…with my head bowed.
adaobiokwy 